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[30 Jun 2007|01:50am]
im alone.

the day before........ [19 Apr 2007|02:16pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

the day before all of my brain cells are diminished. thought i'd update to those who still read this, to like the two people that i still know. things are moving very fast , i move out in two months and am getting ready for a new school, new city and a new country!!! im at peace right now, with myself that is, because as much as id like to say i love everyone, i dont and i find people getting wierder and their intentions astray. thats okay though, ill keep my headphones on and squint my eyes at this burning spring day, watch the lines blur away our own seperate sides.

6 comments|post comment

[15 Mar 2007|10:06am]
im scared. of all of this, it's like ripping a band aid off.
2 comments|post comment

[01 Mar 2007|02:49pm]
i got in to brooks, lets get drunk and celebrate
9 comments|post comment

happy [07 Feb 2007|01:19pm]
[ mood | awake ]

after a long 4 days in the valley i have returned home for my last 6 or so months of living here.so much changes every day , and i can truly say that my eyes are open, and my heart is open, and i have never felt this alive.I've come so far, and sometimes i felt for nothing, but the pieces are forming into something beautiful .I often feel at the verge of tears , my emotions are overwhelmed and I didnt think it was possible , for me to find someone that takes my breath away, but i have and im so lucky. I have wonderful friends that i love and care for more than anything and i have a passion that fuels me every day . So here i go levitating into this so called future of mine, where nothing is certain and everything is possible.

15 comments|post comment

[11 Jan 2007|09:59am]
today is shit. i dont know what i am doing.

[30 Dec 2006|09:29am]
if we only pulled the mask off we'd be living
3 comments|post comment

everyday is a winding road! [14 Dec 2006|08:19pm]
yea sheryll crow.. umm no, lifes good im done with school on friday,and get a visit from some wonderful people this weekend, things are changing and i almost cant keep up, some very important people in my life are leaving(but not for good) , and im going to be taking some big steps soon enough, im excited , im hopeful, im fine, and even when things get all fucked up, i can laugh about it ... i must say ive come along way and i feel like im closer every day to understanding what i want and what i need .

[23 Nov 2006|12:21pm]
i've been playing with this fire since as far back as i can remember i have burns all over me but with time it heals and i have learned to juggle its flames quiet well. every now and then its scorches my skin and im in the same place that i began. and here it comes, time again, trying to pry me back up. im fucking tired, ive wasted myself, and too much of my life, good luck with that.
1 comment|post comment

[28 Oct 2006|11:06am]
i dont know if it's worth it at this point but i am willing to give it one more shot, for the sake of never being able to say at least i didnt try.

[17 Oct 2006|11:50am]
[ mood | agrivated ]

one of those days where you kind of want to kill everyone in sight.

[10 Oct 2006|02:05pm]
[ mood | progressive ]

i feel better every day. for the first time in years im healing.

[07 Oct 2006|10:52pm]
[ mood | awake ]

i feel different.

[29 Sep 2006|01:18pm]
after a nice bike ride to the beach i come home to hear about all the tragedy going on in the world, from the small to the disasterous its all around us. the key is though not to dwell, this life is short and although it is easy to sit here and be afraid of what may be around the corner all you can do is make the best of what you have and love one another.ilove you all and hope to see you soon.
2 comments|post comment

a nice emo exerpt [18 Sep 2006|10:10pm]
[ mood | calm ]

inside this leaking submarine the hull is closing in
the water is above my ankles
now that i still cant get you off of my ------
i dont think we can pull this one off we shall see time will tell
what is time and why does it taste like water inside of my mouth?

6 comments|post comment

[09 Sep 2006|11:43am]
last night was funny.
2 comments|post comment

going home .......................... [28 Aug 2006|02:33am]
[ mood | anxious ]

with this force field around us time never matters, were in it together.
for the "good" and "bad" it's undying .
thanks for the memories.

2 comments|post comment

[18 Aug 2006|03:22pm]
whenever i want something simple, something to warm my heart and smooth out the roughness i have to THINK about it, think about who it will hurt, i once again hurt myself, over and over and over. im sick of thinking about other peoples feelings, im empathetic by nature and all it does is deprive me of the love i want and need, but still knowing that i cant change . i need to get the fuck out of here already im done with this.
2 comments|post comment

would you rather.............................. [05 Aug 2006|03:33am]
[ mood | exhausted ]

i cant remember the last time i was this drained, today has been a long day, and the last few weeks have been a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. but for some reason it did me more good than bad. i realize that sometimes all you have in life is yourself and sometimes you get really lucky and have people that care about you and bust your tears when your feeling a little shakey.

4 comments|post comment

[28 Jul 2006|05:47pm]
first there were none and now theres two, who would have thought i would be just like everyone else in this situation, distracted by sex. siggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
1 comment|post comment

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